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(Satire?)

(Satire?)

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Office Depot Prints Charlie Kirk Apology Banner

Office Depot Prints Charlie Kirk Apology Banner

In light of the recent controversy in which an Office Depot employee refused to print a Charlie Kirk memorial poster at our location in Portage, MI, we would like to present this apology banner. Given the importance and sensitivity of this matter, we will give it the scrutiny and attention

Right Wing Takes Over Wikipedia, Immediately Gives it Back When They Discover It’s Unpaid Work

Right Wing Takes Over Wikipedia, Immediately Gives it Back When They Discover It’s Unpaid Work

“Metaverse is safe for kids!” Shouts Mark Zuckerberg From Candy-filled, Windowless, White Van

“Metaverse is safe for kids!” Shouts Mark Zuckerberg From Candy-filled, Windowless, White Van

Ocean Rise of 1.5 mm Credited Solely to Al Gore’s Sunken Political Aspirations

Ocean Rise of 1.5 mm Credited Solely to Al Gore’s Sunken Political Aspirations

Steve Ballmer Gifts Kawhi Leonard Early Birthday Card Stuffed with $28 Million in Powerball Tickets

Steve Ballmer Gifts Kawhi Leonard Early Birthday Card Stuffed with $28 Million in Powerball Tickets

Soon to be Married David Byrne Concerned His Suit Doesn’t Not Fit Anymore

Soon to be Married David Byrne Concerned His Suit Doesn’t Not Fit Anymore

73-year-old former Talking Heads frontman David Byrne will wed his longtime girlfriend, Mala Gaonkar, 55, this week. However, sources close to the couple indicate that Byrne's main pre-wedding concern revolves around his attire. Gyrating rhythmically, Byrne was overheard exclaiming,“What if it doesn’t not fit anymore? My

President Trump Trying Desperately to Stay Alive Long Enough to Play Silksong

President Trump Trying Desperately to Stay Alive Long Enough to Play Silksong

Entire Democratic Party Hospitalized with Whiplash After Minnesota Shooting Response

Entire Democratic Party Hospitalized with Whiplash After Minnesota Shooting Response

Will Smith Slaps AI Generated Crowd Member

Will Smith Slaps AI Generated Crowd Member

President Trump Successfully Covers "Starland Vocal Band" Tattoo

President Trump Successfully Covers "Starland Vocal Band" Tattoo

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's Respective Careers Slip Just Enough to Settle for Each Other

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's Respective Careers Slip Just Enough to Settle for Each Other

RFK Jr.’s Latest Crackpot Conspiracy: Don’t Harvest Organs From the Living

RFK Jr.’s Latest Crackpot Conspiracy: Don’t Harvest Organs From the Living

Taking First Base: A Memoir of Loss and Rejected Visas

Taking First Base: A Memoir of Loss and Rejected Visas

Trump Replaces Entire Traveling Press Pool

Trump Replaces Entire Traveling Press Pool

Real ID Slammed as Discriminatory to Vampires

Real ID Slammed as Discriminatory to Vampires

Wrong Way: How Signs are Ruining America

Wrong Way: How Signs are Ruining America

Signs. For millennia, they’ve been telling us where to go, what to do, and how much service we’ll receive relative to the presence of our shirt and/or shoes. It started innocently enough — cave paintings of deer to indicate good hunting grounds. But did it stop there? Of

French Philosopher Officially ‘Unpersoned’ by UK Government for Thought Deviance

French Philosopher Officially ‘Unpersoned’ by UK Government for Thought Deviance

Safety Is Our #1 Priority... #2-10? Secretly Selling Passenger Data To Homeland Security

Safety Is Our #1 Priority... #2-10? Secretly Selling Passenger Data To Homeland Security

Spain’s Defense Spending Exemption Robs NATO of Essential Conquistadors

Spain’s Defense Spending Exemption Robs NATO of Essential Conquistadors

Cancelled Comedian Unsure How Many More Minority Groups He Must Offend to Get on Rogan

Cancelled Comedian Unsure How Many More Minority Groups He Must Offend to Get on Rogan

U.S. to Photograph Everyone Crossing into Mexico, Eliminating Unnecessary Cavity Searches for Those with “Resting-Balloon-of-Heroin-Up-their-Butt-Face”

U.S. to Photograph Everyone Crossing into Mexico, Eliminating Unnecessary Cavity Searches for Those with “Resting-Balloon-of-Heroin-Up-their-Butt-Face”

Smile wide, comrades! Big Brother now sees into your soul—and your lower intestine. Facial scans at the border mean fewer cavity checks for those cursed with “resting-smuggler-face.” Freedom never felt so clinical. pic.twitter.com/u73SWL88OB — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) June 13, 2025 U.S. Customs and Border Patrol has

Yale Demands To Know Why They Aren’t Being Singled Out By Trump

Yale Demands To Know Why They Aren’t Being Singled Out By Trump

Escape the Noise with Our Screen Free, Hard Labor, Eco-Luxury Cruise!

Escape the Noise with Our Screen Free, Hard Labor, Eco-Luxury Cruise!

NYU Commencement Speaker Violates Tradition of Platitudes and Vague Optimism

NYU Commencement Speaker Violates Tradition of Platitudes and Vague Optimism

Texas House Speaker *Not* Trying to Ban Memes, Disappoints Internet

Texas House Speaker Not Trying to Ban Memes, Disappoints Internet