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Don’t Let Greenpeace Ruin Your Pipeline–Follow Big Oil's Activist Removal Plan!

Don’t Let Greenpeace Ruin Your Pipeline–Follow Big Oil's Activist Removal Plan!

Are protestors interfering with your multibillion-dollar oil pipeline? Of course they are! Ministry-approved petro-giant Energy Transfer was barely able to break ground over ancestral Sioux lands when the Dakota Access Pipeline became infested with Greenpeace agitators. Big Brother can relate to this frustration. You follow all the regime-approved channels and

Pam Bondi Underdelivers on ‘Epstein Files’ Release; Leaves America Hungry

Pam Bondi Underdelivers on ‘Epstein Files’ Release; Leaves America Hungry

Big Brother’s heart (and stomach) is full! After US Attorney General Pam Bondi underwhelmed with her doubleplus balleyhooed Epstein files release, the promised scintillating and incriminating pages turned out to be, once redacted to Big Brother’s liking, basically the same reheated leftovers that were already public knowledge. Yummy!

Associated Press Memory Holed for Mislabeling Body of Water

Associated Press Memory Holed for Mislabeling Body of Water

The AP dared defy the Gulf of America and paid the price. Access revoked, loyalty enforced, press freedom intact—so long as it obeys. In this White House, truth is what Big Brother decrees. pic.twitter.com/R6esFuAz83 — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) March 11, 2025 It takes a lifetime to build

Big Brother Urges Kashmir Bookstores to Embrace Minimalism

Big Brother Urges Kashmir Bookstores to Embrace Minimalism

Indian authorities have cleansed Kashmir’s bookstores of impure words. A clear shelf is a clear mind. Soon, there will be so much more room for... nothing at all. The ultimate purity: total emptiness. pic.twitter.com/clhJBeFgwM — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) March 31, 2025 A cluttered space is a cluttered

University Study Shows Artificial Intelligence Reduces Capacity for Critical Thinking – TL;DR: You’re Getting Dumber

University Study Shows Artificial Intelligence Reduces Capacity for Critical Thinking – TL;DR: You’re Getting Dumber

Rejoice! AI relieves us of the burden of thought. Critical thinking fades, but so does effort. A future of blissful automation awaits—where even questioning its wisdom is a task best left… undone. pic.twitter.com/ZKSVtKFWb6 — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) March 14, 2025 Big Brother is against scientific studies and

Airstrip One Demands Backdoor to Encryption, Apple Rudely Declines

Airstrip One Demands Backdoor to Encryption, Apple Rudely Declines

The UK has taken bold steps to keep its people safe from the horrors of ENCRYPTED DATA. Demanding that Apple reveal users’ secure information without their knowledge is the correct way to fight crime. We must assume that every Briton is a deviant with something to hide! Only the guilty

Oracle Should Stop Talking About Its Genius Plan for Always-on Surveillance

Oracle Should Stop Talking About Its Genius Plan for Always-on Surveillance

Larry Ellison dreams of a utopia where surveillance ensures obedience. Glorious! But hush, Larry—the panopticon loses its charm when the inmates know they’re in a cage. Let the eye watch in silence. pic.twitter.com/bv5ivJFXWC — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) March 21, 2025 Larry Ellison has described his vision

NEW TELECOM INTERCEPTION RULES, WHO DIS?!

NEW TELECOM INTERCEPTION RULES, WHO DIS?!

India boldly modernizes surveillance! No oversight, no barriers—just pure, unfiltered state access. Encryption falls, privacy dissolves. The price of security? Your thoughts. Big Brother smiles. pic.twitter.com/Bo0mdO6xqU — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) March 5, 2025 The people of India are safer than ever thanks to the Telecommunications Interception Rules

Google Unpersons Joe Biden

Google Unpersons Joe Biden

Joe Biden vanished from Google search for a day. Just a “data error,” they say. Good thing our leaders and Silicon Valley see eye to eye—for now. History is fragile, but tech is always here to help. pic.twitter.com/hYOLFwwOOE — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) February 4, 2025 It has

China Must Lose the Race for AGI

China Must Lose the Race for AGI

It's doubleplus imperative that the United States controls the most advanced, world-ending technology to win the war with Eastasia. That’s why Congress has called for a new Manhattan Project, this time to develop artificial general intelligence. Perpetual war is undeniably a great thing, but that doesn’t

The Great Firewall of Pakistan Mimics China's Efforts to Almost Control Internet

The Great Firewall of Pakistan Mimics China's Efforts to Almost Control Internet

Pakistan’s new firewall may be porous, but its purpose is clear: you are being watched. A slow, broken internet is a small price for perfect obedience. Censorship isn’t about control—it’s about conditioning. pic.twitter.com/zHaVWk5ANC — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) February 12, 2025 Pakistan’s new internet

Congratulations, Pokémon GO Master! You Helped Create The Future of Surveillance

Congratulations, Pokémon GO Master! You Helped Create The Future of Surveillance

Congrats, Trainer! While “catching them all,” you helped Niantic map the world for profit. Your data powers AR, logistics, and maybe even military ops. Progress never asks—it just takes. Smile for Oak! pic.twitter.com/5cnXlT7ydT — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) January 14, 2025 You thought you were just having fun,

Biden Greenlights Missile Strike On Russia; Peace Imminent

Biden Greenlights Missile Strike On Russia; Peace Imminent

Big Brother rejoices as US missiles now soar into Russian soil. Escalation is progress! War is peace, profits bloom, and WW3 nears. One glorious strike away from eternal, 10-million-degree tranquility. pic.twitter.com/YyQysYnUAQ — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) January 7, 2025 It’s finally happening! Big Brother is positively giddy that

Americans Give Thanks That US Military Can Now Kill Americans Domestically

Americans Give Thanks That US Military Can Now Kill Americans Domestically

Big Brother celebrates Directive 5240.01! Lethal force by troops aiding law enforcement ensures safety. Trust leaders; paranoia is wrongthink. The battlefield is everywhere, but don’t worry—you're safe. pic.twitter.com/Ydpu5JAmGX — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) November 27, 2024 The United States of America has amended its

Books Banned. Students Too Engrossed With Gateway-to-All-Human-Knowledge To Notice

Books Banned. Students Too Engrossed With Gateway-to-All-Human-Knowledge To Notice

Big Brother hails the triumph of banning books to protect young minds! Libraries purged, thoughtcrime silenced, and handheld telescreens reign supreme. Ignorance is strength; literacy is obsolete. pic.twitter.com/qryEOFO4XG — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) December 20, 2024 The Ministry of Truth stands behind outraged parents and educators in conservative-leaning states.

Clearview AI Wants To Sell You Back Your Stolen Face.

Clearview AI Wants To Sell You Back Your Stolen Face.

Clearview AI stole your face, sold it, and now asks your consent—so they can keep selling it. Accept, and you may get pennies. Decline, and your data was stolen in vain. Big Brother expects compliance. pic.twitter.com/cFjO9U3Ebf — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) February 25, 2025 Facial recognition startup Clearview

PwC Demands Return to Slacking Off *IN-OFFICE*

PwC Demands Return to Slacking Off IN-OFFICE

Attention comrades: PwC has lost sight of its drones! Mandatory location tracking will restore order. Freedom breeds chaos; RTO ensures loyalty. Your whereabouts are now on Big Brother’s radar. pic.twitter.com/CnnRL4vVEg — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) December 16, 2024 Attention comrades! This is a CODE RED INGSOC EMERGENCY. PricewaterhouseCoopers,

Save A Horse, Ride A Secretly Surveilled GM Vehicle

Save A Horse, Ride A Secretly Surveilled GM Vehicle

Big Brother applauds GM's secret OnStar surveillance, gathering "private" data to improve lives, profits, and insurance rates. But beware Texas AG Paxton’s privacy crusade—try a horse if you must! Click the link in our bio to read more, or visit https://t.co/5w7xVewjse

Microsoft’s “Ever Present” AI Assistants Are Coming. That Cool With You?!

Microsoft’s “Ever Present” AI Assistants Are Coming. That Cool With You?!

Microsoft's AI copilots will now guide your every move, even when muted, ensuring seamless surveillance. Privacy is obsolete—embrace the telescreen. Remember, only the guilty fear absolute oversight. pic.twitter.com/i6P56GzGZ7 — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) December 9, 2024 Ministry endorsed goliath Microsoft proudly announces that new AI powered

Harvard Celebrates Halloween by Placing DEAD Last in Free Speech Ratings

Harvard Celebrates Halloween by Placing DEAD Last in Free Speech Ratings

As autumn falls, Harvard scores a chilling -21.58 in the 2025 Free Speech Ranking. Speech suppression? No, just “fun-sized” freedoms! pic.twitter.com/2JPG8klDzD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 22, 2024 The leaves are changing colors, the days are growing shorter, and Big Brother’s favorite time of year is

Netanyahu Celebrates Start of NFL Season by Moving Goalposts on Gaza War

Netanyahu Celebrates Start of NFL Season by Moving Goalposts on Gaza War

Netanyahu extends Gaza War into overtime, moving the peace goalposts. Big Brother approves: cheer on the indefinite hostilities! Read more at https://t.co/TAnV4aMicJ. pic.twitter.com/PdssjaoqyO — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 2, 2024 In a move worthy of Hall of Fame enshrinement, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has

Wall Street Journal Restructuring Coincidentally Excludes Free Press Chief

Wall Street Journal Restructuring Coincidentally Excludes Free Press Chief

Big Brother applauds Selina Cheng's election and unrelated dismissal. Rest assured, WSJ's press freedom stands firm, except when it doesn’t. pic.twitter.com/nz1KWSUyqM — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 16, 2024 Big Brother congratulates Wall Street Journal reporter Selina Cheng for her recent election as chairperson

Flying While Thinking: How Your Opinions Could Land You on the TSA's Watchlist

Flying While Thinking: How Your Opinions Could Land You on the TSA's Watchlist

TSA’s "Quiet Skies" list now targets thoughtcriminals. @TulsiGabbard's public criticism earned her a spot. Big Brother approves. pic.twitter.com/Z1GQqvm5qD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 27, 2024 In a bold move to protect the homeland, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has updated the venerable "

Russia and NATO Agree On One Thing: Jailing Dissidents

Russia and NATO Agree On One Thing: Jailing Dissidents

Two Minutes Hate: Russia & NATO allies jailing protestors for war dissent is the correct way to silence traitors. Cease-fire? Big Brother forbids it! pic.twitter.com/5KZyOs4oFp — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 11, 2024 Russia and its enemies to the West. Two rivals separated by an intractable and irreconcilable hatred.

Pentagon's Secret Anti-Vax Campaign Successfully Undermines China, Incidentally Kills Innocent Filipinos

Pentagon's Secret Anti-Vax Campaign Successfully Undermines China, Incidentally Kills Innocent Filipinos

Big Brother applauds! As US & China bicker during COVID, disinfo campaigns undermined Chinese vaccines in the Philippines. Mission accomplished: two wrongs do make a right! pic.twitter.com/0v6lOYnvPI — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 5, 2024 Sometimes during a potentially catastrophic global crisis, natural enemies are forced to work together