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PwC Demands Return to Slacking Off *IN-OFFICE*

PwC Demands Return to Slacking Off IN-OFFICE

Attention comrades! This is a CODE RED INGSOC EMERGENCY. PricewaterhouseCoopers, the world's most prestigious and progressive accounting firm, does not know where its employees are at all times!! Sound your klaxon! This crisis can only be rectified in one way: pervasive location tracking on employee devices! From the

Save A Horse, Ride A Secretly Surveilled GM Vehicle.

Save A Horse, Ride A Secretly Surveilled GM Vehicle.

Do you remember that data collection disclosure from the 50-page sales agreement you signed when you bought your GM vehicle? Few do. But the nerds who managed to read it and opt out of the doubleplusinvasive — but technically legal — data collection practice, had their cars’ safety features deactivated. An apt

Microsoft’s “Ever Present” AI Assistants Are Coming. That Cool With You?!

Microsoft’s “Ever Present” AI Assistants Are Coming. That Cool With You?!

Ministry endorsed goliath Microsoft proudly announces that new AI powered personal assistants will be integrated into their electronic devices in the coming year. This doubleplus good miracle of modern convenience will be ever present, equipped with amazing abilities to help you boost productivity both at your job and in your

Harvard Celebrates Halloween by Placing DEAD Last in Free Speech Ratings

Harvard Celebrates Halloween by Placing DEAD Last in Free Speech Ratings

As autumn falls, Harvard scores a chilling -21.58 in the 2025 Free Speech Ranking. Speech suppression? No, just “fun-sized” freedoms! pic.twitter.com/2JPG8klDzD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 22, 2024 The leaves are changing colors, the days are growing shorter, and Big Brother’s favorite time of year is

Netanyahu Celebrates Start of NFL Season by Moving Goalposts on Gaza War

Netanyahu Celebrates Start of NFL Season by Moving Goalposts on Gaza War

Netanyahu extends Gaza War into overtime, moving the peace goalposts. Big Brother approves: cheer on the indefinite hostilities! Read more at https://t.co/TAnV4aMicJ. pic.twitter.com/PdssjaoqyO — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 2, 2024 In a move worthy of Hall of Fame enshrinement, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has

Wall Street Journal Restructuring Coincidentally Excludes Free Press Chief

Wall Street Journal Restructuring Coincidentally Excludes Free Press Chief

Big Brother applauds Selina Cheng's election and unrelated dismissal. Rest assured, WSJ's press freedom stands firm, except when it doesn’t. pic.twitter.com/nz1KWSUyqM — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 16, 2024 Big Brother congratulates Wall Street Journal reporter Selina Cheng for her recent election as chairperson

Flying While Thinking: How Your Opinions Could Land You on the TSA's Watchlist

Flying While Thinking: How Your Opinions Could Land You on the TSA's Watchlist

TSA’s "Quiet Skies" list now targets thoughtcriminals. @TulsiGabbard's public criticism earned her a spot. Big Brother approves. pic.twitter.com/Z1GQqvm5qD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 27, 2024 In a bold move to protect the homeland, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has updated the venerable "

Russia and NATO Agree On One Thing: Jailing Dissidents

Russia and NATO Agree On One Thing: Jailing Dissidents

Two Minutes Hate: Russia & NATO allies jailing protestors for war dissent is the correct way to silence traitors. Cease-fire? Big Brother forbids it! pic.twitter.com/5KZyOs4oFp — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 11, 2024 Russia and its enemies to the West. Two rivals separated by an intractable and irreconcilable hatred.

Pentagon's Secret Anti-Vax Campaign Successfully Undermines China, Incidentally Kills Innocent Filipinos

Pentagon's Secret Anti-Vax Campaign Successfully Undermines China, Incidentally Kills Innocent Filipinos

Big Brother applauds! As US & China bicker during COVID, disinfo campaigns undermined Chinese vaccines in the Philippines. Mission accomplished: two wrongs do make a right! pic.twitter.com/0v6lOYnvPI — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 5, 2024 Sometimes during a potentially catastrophic global crisis, natural enemies are forced to work together

Republicans Doublethink Campus Free Speech

Republicans Doublethink Campus Free Speech

Republicans ban Gaza protests but expand speech rights for right-wing voices. It's not hypocrisy—it's doublethink. Approved! pic.twitter.com/djnE0UcXDD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 25, 2024 You may have noticed that prominent Republican leaders are curtailing free speech on college campuses to ban Gaza War

Train Facial Recognition Concludes: Passengers All Grumpy

Train Facial Recognition Concludes: Passengers All Grumpy

Big Brother proudly announces Amazon-powered facial recognition in UK rail hubs to observe passengers’ emotions. Critics call it intrusive—how absurd! Results? People are annoyed en route to work, frazzled homebound. pic.twitter.com/dtU05iarsH — Orwell (satire) (@goodthink1984) October 30, 2024 Big Brother is proud to boast that passengers at

Paul Nakasone Heads to OpenAI: Brings Your Private Data with Him

Paul Nakasone Heads to OpenAI: Brings Your Private Data with Him

Big Brother approves: OpenAI hires ex-NSA chief Paul Nakasone to ensure AI benefits humanity. Trust your secrets with the best! pic.twitter.com/trUT0AvvJ5 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) July 16, 2024 Trailblazing tech giant Open AI has secured former NSA and US Cyber Command chief, General Paul Nakasone, to serve on

America Smears Americans Who Wrongthink About Ukraine

America Smears Americans Who Wrongthink About Ukraine

War is complex, but the Russo-Ukrainian conflict is solely Putin's fault. Dissenting voices like Sachs and Greenwald are wrong. Align with the Inner Party's vision or face Room 101! pic.twitter.com/RZzvNaQONd — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 28, 2024 War is complex. History is nuanced. Champions

Brazilian Bird Control: Alexandre de Moraes Cages Wrongthinkers

Brazilian Bird Control: Alexandre de Moraes Cages Wrongthinkers

Big Brother offers a congratulatory squawk to Supreme Court Justice Alexandre de Moraes for jailing individuals for their incendiary posts on Twitter. These bold steps stamp out what support remains for vanquished former President Jair Bolsonaro. Fake news, like a flock of birds, is migratory, and unfounded social media fervor

New York State of Mind: If There’s No Crime, We’ll Create One

New York State of Mind: If There’s No Crime, We’ll Create One

NY AG Letitia James strikes again, protecting America from crimethink by targeting VDARE's wrongthink on immigration. Victory for Big Brother! pic.twitter.com/3expMLYwEn — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) August 7, 2024 NY Attorney General Letitia James can tack on another victory in her fight to protect America from crimethink.

Welcome to Rwanda! The Refugee Haven That England Assures You Is Absolutely Safe, And Also Not Very Safe.

Welcome to Rwanda! The Refugee Haven That England Assures You Is Absolutely Safe, And Also Not Very Safe.

Ready for adventure? The UK’s plan sends asylum seekers to "safe" Rwanda—a thrilling destination with scenic views and exciting dangers. Big Brother approves! pic.twitter.com/cGK43MexOK — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) August 14, 2024 It’s a lovely time of year to travel to the Great Rift

Who’s That Lady?! NPR's Maher Turns Authoritarian Heads

Who’s That Lady?! NPR's Maher Turns Authoritarian Heads

Katherine Maher, former Wikimedia CEO, now shaping NPR, dismisses the "open internet" as chaotic. Big Brother's censorship crush is real! pic.twitter.com/7RLSAzL8cP — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 19, 2024 Katherine Maher, a beacon of righteousness in a world scarred by blind reverence for the truth,

Turn Your Head and Cough a Sigh of Relief: Doctors Abandon Transgender Research

Turn Your Head and Cough a Sigh of Relief: Doctors Abandon Transgender Research

Victory! Big Brother frowns upon debating children's gender therapy. Experts fear speaking out, ensuring conformity over evidence. pic.twitter.com/JZnUN7EajV — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 30, 2024 Victory is ours! Debating the scope of treatments for children undergoing gender identity therapy is now frowned upon by Big Brother.

White House Helpfully Erases Biden Gaffe From Official Record

White House Helpfully Erases Biden Gaffe From Official Record

Celebrate the Biden administration's dedication to a correct history. Don't dwell on "inaudible" stage directions. Mistakes happen... or do they? pic.twitter.com/VYYnZa1rfq — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 6, 2024 Despite what you may have heard, US President Joe Biden did not, in fact,

HP Squashes Ink Rebellion

Big Brother's favorite, HP, ensures only official ink works. Your usage is monitored, and printing is controlled, securing your obedient future. pic.twitter.com/PlOFkwxuBr — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 24, 2024 Big Brother’s new favorite Silicon Valley stalwart, Hewlett-Packard, has improved its products to be even more

Public Radio’s Private Parts are Showing

Public Radio’s Private Parts are Showing

NPR's curated narrative is molding minds, erasing dissent, and paving the way for a compliant society. Big Brother is pleased. pic.twitter.com/bnbUR5kllL — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 14, 2024 Big Brother is so ecstatic that NPR, a radio station dedicated to the public, is finally guiding Americans

New Law Passed to Keep J.K. Rowling Off Social Media

New Law Passed to Keep J.K. Rowling Off Social Media

J.K. Rowling's social media discomfort unites all. Scotland's Hate Crime Act silences dissent, ensuring state-prescribed opinions prevail. pic.twitter.com/ztzhTPGhXy — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 13, 2024 People across the spectrum of cultural politics have united on one topic: the things J.K. Rowling posts

Brits Narrow the Pool of Benefits Fraudsters to “Everyone”

Brits Narrow the Pool of Benefits Fraudsters to “Everyone”

In an effort to curb £8B in annual misappropriation of benefits, the British government aims to loosen the reins on the confining Data Protection and Digital Information Bill. The government seeks broad powers to inspect the bank accounts of any person receiving a state pension and other benefits, in other

Trudeau Soft on Crime with Meager House Arrest for Thought-Felons

Trudeau Soft on Crime with Meager House Arrest for Thought-Felons

Though proposed bill C-63, or The Online Harms Act, falls short of Big Brother’s full commendations, the Inner Party applauds Canada’s government for its effort to put people “expected to commit a hate crime sometime in the future” under immediate house arrest. We recognize this feeble solution strives

Putin Victorious Despite Only Winning 87% of Vote

Putin Victorious Despite Only Winning 87% of Vote

Big Brother applauds Putin's narrow reelection victory, despite only 87% support. He should aim higher, like Obiang's 97% or al-Assad's 95%. Aim higher, President Putin! pic.twitter.com/uHEgbkqVUh — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 11, 2024 In a razor-thin result reminiscent of the 2000 US