Biden Greenlights Missile Strike On Russia; Peace Imminent
It’s finally happening! Big Brother is positively giddy that US-made long-range missiles are now free to fly into Russian territory.
It’s been far too long since global politics teetered so closely to World War 3. After all, the time between the end of WW1 and the start of its glorious sequel was just a Prussian mustache whisker over 20 years! But now, it’s been 80 agonizing years since the end of WW2. Let’s find our Archduke Ferdinand, already!
The Ministry of Peace doesn't know why Pres. Biden endorsed this sudden escalation. Is his intention to increase Ukraine’s negotiating leverage? Does he want to weaken Russia through perpetual war while American companies profit from weapons sales? Is he just making things harder for his successor Donald Trump? Big Brother doesn’t really care — war is peace, and this latest move nudges us that much closer to a sudden, 10 million-degree, very ultimate peace.
SYNTAX ERROR
PRINTING JUST THE FACTS
- Last month, US Pres. Joe Biden authorized Ukraine to use American-made Army Tactical Missile Systems (ATACMS) for limited strikes into Russian territory. Ukraine has since conducted multiple such strikes.
- Biden had previously refused to allow the use of American ATACMS in Russia amid warnings from Moscow that this would cross a red line. According to officials, his reversal came in response to Russia’s deepening ties with North Korea, including the deployment of North Korean troops to fight Ukraine.
- Russian officials warned the decision could risk a broader war, with Pres. Vladimir Putin having previously stated that such a move would mean NATO and the US “are at war with Russia.”
- Critics have pointed out that while Ukraine has been requesting approval to strike Russian territory for months, Biden only signed off shortly before Pres.-elect Trump is set to take office. Trump campaigned on bringing the war to an end through peace talks.
- Others claim the US and NATO prioritized weakening Russia geopolitically over helping Ukraine win, arguing that prolonged conflict strategies, driven by the arms industry's pursuit of profits, have fostered global instability and increased repression.
Sources: Al Jazeera, Fox News, NPR, New York Post, The Hill, ABC News, Caitlin Johnstone, Responsible Statecraft and Reuters.
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