Netanyahu Celebrates Start of NFL Season by Moving Goalposts on Gaza War
Netanyahu extends Gaza War into overtime, moving the peace goalposts. Big Brother approves: cheer on the indefinite hostilities!
— Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 2, 2024
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In a move worthy of Hall of Fame enshrinement, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has decided to celebrate the new NFL season by moving the goalposts on the Gaza peace process.
As ceasefire hopes sputter like an underinflated football, Netanyahu, ever the strategist, has declared that victory will now require several more drives of offensive action. Much like Mike McDaniel is taking pre-snap motion to new heights in Miami, so too is Netanyahu finding new strategies to extend hostilities indefinitely. These include stiff-arming investigations into Israeli security failures and prioritizing its defensive line with Egypt over hostage negotiations.
Big Brother is happy to declare OVERTIME on the Gaza War. Citizens are encouraged to cheer from the sidelines as the hard-hitting action continues.
SYNTAX ERROR
PRINTING JUST THE FACTS
- During an Aug. 30 Israeli security cabinet meeting, Defense Minister Yoav Gallant accused Prime Minister (PM) Benjamin Netanyahu of jeopardizing a hostage deal by insisting on maintaining an Israeli presence along the Gaza-Egypt border.
- Ten days earlier, Mossad Director David Barnea was quoted as telling the mother of a hostage that a deal was “impossible” due to “politics.” The mother was also critical of Netanyahu’s refusal to conduct an investigation into Israel’s failure to prevent the Oct. 7 attack.
- Earlier that month, Gallant and Israel Defense Forces (IDF) chief Herzi Halevi accused Netanyahu of sabotaging the deal by adding new demands. Gallant was quoted as telling Netanyahu he had “no security reason to delay the deal,” as earlier cease-fire proposals did not include an Israeli presence along the Gaza-Egypt border.
- Around that time, sources close to Netanyahu told reporters that the PM was considering firing Gallant and Halevi to ensure no one would oppose his negotiation tactics.
- Netanyahu’s “political” reasons, according to government officials, are over his fear that should he reach a deal with Hamas, it would anger National Security Minister Itamar Ben-Gvir and Finance Minister Bezlel Smotrich, who could pull their support for the PM, causing the collapse of his governing coalition.
Sources: Axios, JPost, Times of Israel (a), The Guardian, and Times of Israel (b).
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