Orwell (Page 3)

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America Unleashes Robocalypse for the Benefit of All

America Unleashes Robocalypse for the Benefit of All

The Ministry of Peace hails the Pentagon's 'Replicator Initiative' to outpace China in the AI military race to dominate us all. pic.twitter.com/Jd7j2yd90o — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) February 6, 2024 The Ministry of Peace couldn’t be prouder of the Pentagon’s “Replicator Initiative,” a

Muslims, Skater-dudes Labeled Extremists by UK

Muslims, Skater-dudes Labeled Extremists by UK

Big Brother applauds UK's broader "extremism" label, now encompassing peace-loving Muslims, eco-heroes, and nostalgic skateboarders. pic.twitter.com/YKk7fsIr87 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) January 8, 2024 Big Brother smiles upon the UK’s planned expansion of the term “extremism” to include groups far beyond the previous definition.

Pope Saves World From the Most Blasphemous Scientific Discovery of All Time

Pope Saves World From the Most Blasphemous Scientific Discovery of All Time

By Pope Urban VIII Pope saves world from the most blasphemous scientific discovery of all time pic.twitter.com/jjuOtdDTGx — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) December 9, 2023 I am happy to announce that Galileo Galilei, of the misguided theory that Earth and all its splendor revolves around the Sun, has been

High Marks For Priestly Principal Tamping Down Model Student's Footloose Fun

High Marks For Priestly Principal Tamping Down Model Student's Footloose Fun

Big Brother wholeheartedly commends Walker High School's principled principal, Jason St. Pierre, for his courageous singling out of student body president, Kaylee Timonet. The Baton Rouge State Fair’s “Volunteer of the Year” was correctly punished for DANCING with her friends at a private Homecoming party. Principal St.

'Grief Tech' Creates AI Version of Dead Parents for You to Ignore

'Grief Tech' Creates AI Version of Dead Parents for You to Ignore

Big Brother's New Grief Tech: Immortalize Loved Ones in AI, Calls Optional! pic.twitter.com/DYLqrpkMvm — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) December 15, 2023 Big Brother is proud to jump on the 'grief tech' gravy train, allowing you to upload data about your dearly departed loved ones into

The Comfort of Vigilance Embraces America's Schools

The Comfort of Vigilance Embraces America's Schools

Big Brother celebrates peak surveillance in schools! Budgets shrink, but spy-tech thrives. pic.twitter.com/f8tNyaMDTK — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) December 29, 2023 Big Brother is elated to report that surveillance in our public schools has reached an all-time high and is still growing! In this educational landscape where budgets for

India Will Catch You if You Fall into a Free-Thinking Trap

India Will Catch You if You Fall into a Free-Thinking Trap

Not a single media mouse dares to scurry over India's intellectual landscape without our hawk-eyed Big Brother swooping in for a sharp reminder of their place. Ask the recently detained founder and 50-odd journalists of NewsClick! All it took for the current affairs website to have its offices

TED Supports Color Blindness by Suppressing TED Talk on Color Blindness

TED Supports Color Blindness by Suppressing TED Talk on Color Blindness

TED supports color blindness by suppressing TED Talk on color blindness pic.twitter.com/xrWPFtt5q2 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) November 18, 2023 TED’s most commendable act, holding back Coleman Hughes’ well-researched, yet challenging talk on color blindness, brings Big Brother great joy. Tacking on a post-presentation rebuttal ensures the more

A Grand Proposal for NYC Statues: Banishment!

A Grand Proposal for NYC Statues: Banishment!

Plaques of shame or statues in repentance? It's time for a historic makeover that meets our impeccable standards. pic.twitter.com/jK1u4BqVYX — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) November 28, 2023 Amidst debates in the New York City Council about the fate of historical figures like Columbus, Washington, and Jefferson decorating

DeSantis Empowers Parents by Silencing Deviant Teachers

DeSantis Empowers Parents by Silencing Deviant Teachers

Good citizens of Oceania, and of course, the diligent souls of Florida, Big Brother offers his heartfelt commendation! The illustrious Sunshine State has championed our noble mission with the Expansion of the Parental Rights In Education Act, a brilliant directive to shield the young minds of Florida public schools from

Canada Wonders: "Does Your Podcast Even Regulate Bruh?!"

Canada Wonders: "Does Your Podcast Even Regulate Bruh?!"

Attention, all you pod jockeys and digital disruptors! Put a halt to that unregulated verbal cardio and lace up those neon sneakers. It's time for a high-intensity, state-mandated reshape of your streaming physique. The Canada Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC), your new personal trainer, is turning up the

Harvard Celebrates Top Anti-Wrongthink Rating

Harvard Celebrates Top Anti-Wrongthink Rating

Harvard Celebrates Top Anti-Wrongthink Rating pic.twitter.com/5AqITaprX5 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) November 2, 2023 Big news! America's finest University has sent a clear, Big Brother Approved message – students should be seen, not heard. Harvard has shown off its -10.6 free speech score from FIRE’s 2024

YOUR CAR HAS THE FOOTAGE. HONK IF YOU'RE READY FOR YOUR UNWITTING SEX TAPE DEBUT!

YOUR CAR HAS THE FOOTAGE. HONK IF YOU'RE READY FOR YOUR UNWITTING SEX TAPE DEBUT!

Meet the latest sedan - not merely a vehicle, but a personal surveillance companion! pic.twitter.com/S9Z413q1KP — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) November 6, 2023 Ah, cars. They've evolved from symbols of freedom to diligent informants, ensuring society remains in order. Buying a shiny new sedan? You're

Google Chrome Lovingly Spies On Your Browser History and It Would Like a Word With You

Google Chrome Lovingly Spies On Your Browser History and It Would Like a Word With You

#GoogleChrome lovingly spies on your browser history and it would like a word with you. pic.twitter.com/IFWaNomipD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 13, 2023 Hey there, reader. I stumbled upon something while I was tracking your browser history. You know, to show you the ads that you're

Eyes On The Poor: A Guide To Modern Public Housing Management

Eyes On The Poor: A Guide To Modern Public Housing Management

Eyes on the Poor: A Guide to Modern Public Housing Management pic.twitter.com/j1T7RqIDhx — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 23, 2023 As the gap between landed gentry and lowly renters widens, Big Brother requires you to succeed as an American public housing landlord in 2023. To that end, here are

The BBC Gets "Modi-fied" In India

The BBC Gets "Modi-fied" In India

Comrades, breathe a sigh of relief as we cleanse those infected with the wrong beliefs! The BBC’s outrageous documentary titled, “India: The Modi Question,” is a work of pure fiction. To correct this oversight, PM Modi’s government banned the documentary from being screened in India. When asked to

Behind Bars for Books: Unmasking the Subversive Intentions of Arkansas Librarians

Behind Bars for Books: Unmasking the Subversive Intentions of Arkansas Librarians

Behind the Bars for Books: Unmasking the Subversive Intentions of Arkansas Librarians pic.twitter.com/911L2vH3wL — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 27, 2023 Arkansas Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the torchbearer of wisdom and discretion, has signed a law set to nurture our young minds in the direction of truth and clarity.

America’s True Crime Fix: Now You're Part of the Plot

America’s True Crime Fix: Now You're Part of the Plot

The True Crime genre—our collective societal addiction. Who can resist? We devour it on commutes, binge it during long-haul flights, and even sneak in episodes during our kids' baseball games. We don't just consume it; we live it—streaming it into our very souls through every

Stasi Fashion Tips: Germany's 2023 Whistleblower Style Guide

Stasi Fashion Tips: Germany's 2023 Whistleblower Style Guide

Can’t get enough of high tops, shoulder pads and denunciation? Neither can we!! We are SO vibing with the German government's throwback to classic East German trends from the 1980s Stasi era with the Whistleblowing Protection Act of 2023. Now, any company with over 49 employees is

Judge who Judged Judge to be Judged

Judge who Judged Judge to be Judged

The judicial world is in a state of reflection as Germany dives into a court spectacle reminiscent of a hall of mirrors. The judge who had the audacity to judge Judge Christian Dettmar for his blasphemous views on mask mandates now faces his own judgment day. Judge Dettmar's

Vice’s Bold New Countercultural Move: Embrace Censorship

Vice’s Bold New Countercultural Move: Embrace Censorship

In an act of contrarian genius, the ever-rebellious Vice Media has found the most countercultural move of all: embracing censorship. Forget tattoos, piercings, and edgy exposés; the new punk rock is literally taking $50 million to organize a concert celebrating Saudi Arabia, and pressing the good ol' mute button

Big Brother's Watchful Eye Nabs Phone Fiddlers and Unbelted Miscreants

Big Brother's Watchful Eye Nabs Phone Fiddlers and Unbelted Miscreants

Airstrip One is happy to introduce the bleeding edge of safety technology: specialized cameras, watching tirelessly for any miscreants peeking at Google maps or dangerously neglecting to belt up while driving. In just three days following installation, our vigilant Eye in the Sky caught nearly 300 lawbreakers. Can you feel

El Salvador Introduces Efficient and Exceptionally Fair Group Trials

El Salvador Introduces Efficient and Exceptionally Fair Group Trials

In an impressive stride towards judicial innovation, El Salvador’s Congress has approved group trials, setting the bar for peak efficiency. Why bother with individual trials when you can just lump them all together? Modern problems require groundbreaking solutions! With an admirable 71,900 alleged gang members arrested, the new

Florida Schools Thoughtfully Archive Nonconforming Social Studies Textbooks

Florida Schools Thoughtfully Archive Nonconforming Social Studies Textbooks

#Florida Schools Thoughtfully Archive Nonconforming Social Studies Textbooks pic.twitter.com/pf4E8cwaEW — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 26, 2023 In a masterful display of intellectual prowess, Florida has reaffirmed its dedication to shaping the minds of the future by rejecting specific textbooks from its schools. The state’s revered leader, Governor

Guest Post: Jeff Bezos Just Wants to See Your Hand for a Second

Guest Post: Jeff Bezos Just Wants to See Your Hand for a Second

By Jeff Bezos You probably know me from a little book store I started. No big deal. I've brought convenience and selection to the masses. You might say I've made it my priority to lend a hand to the average person, so it's only