PwC Demands Return to Slacking Off *IN-OFFICE*
Attention comrades: PwC has lost sight of its drones! Mandatory location tracking will restore order. Freedom breeds chaos; RTO ensures loyalty. Your whereabouts are now on Big Brother’s radar. pic.twitter.com/CnnRL4vVEg
— Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) December 16, 2024
Attention comrades! This is a CODE RED INGSOC EMERGENCY. PricewaterhouseCoopers, the world's most prestigious and progressive accounting firm, does not know where its employees are at all times!! Sound your klaxon!
This crisis can only be rectified in one way: pervasive location tracking on employee devices! From the moment you open your laptop, PwC will relentlessly track you, ensuring you are in that cubicle no less than three days a week.
A properly located employee is a properly motivated employee. Besides, working from home can lead to improved productivity, less time spent commuting, reduced stress, and more time for family. What a disaster! Personal liberties lead to a sense of fulfillment that should only be experienced as a byproduct of absolute corporate loyalty.
RTO will be greeeeeat. You’ll be collaborating more effectively with your colleagues than ever. Once again, bonding with your team face to face, counting the pieces of cilantro in David’s teeth, savoring Clare’s reheated tuna melt as it wafts from the communal microwave, and of course, hearing James in product development unsuccessfully clear that hoarker from his throat. All... Day... Long.
So get out of the house and get into your Inner Party authorized workplace. Rest easy drones. Your work whereabouts and whenabouts are now on Big Brother’s radar… literally.
SYNTAX ERROR
PRINTING JUST THE FACTS
- Starting January 2025, PwC will monitor the work locations of its 26K UK employees to ensure they spend a minimum of three days per week in the office or at client sites.
- A PwC UK executive said the policy, which will include monthly location tracking data reports, is meant to help "focus on client service, coaching, and learning and development."
- Employees who fail to meet the three-day office requirement may face disciplinary actions if informal resolutions are unsuccessful.
- This comes amid market slowdowns, with PwC warning staff of smaller bonuses, lower pay raises, and scaling back pandemic-era perks like half-day Fridays due to economic challenges.
- London workers currently average 2.7 days in the office per week, which is lower than in Paris and New York, raising concerns about the potential impact on UK productivity.
Sources: The Guardian, Daily Mail, Investing, Tech.co, and The Telegraph.
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