Save A Horse, Ride A Secretly Surveilled GM Vehicle.

Do you remember that data collection disclosure from the 50-page sales agreement you signed when you bought your GM vehicle? 

Few do. But the nerds who managed to read it and opt out of the doubleplusinvasive — but technically legal — data collection practice, had their cars’ safety features deactivated. An apt punishment for proles with the bellyfeel to read the fine print.

Yes! The Onstar feature of your Chevy, which was ostensibly there to provide remote service and security for your car, has been secretly recording your driving habits. Even if you never subscribed to the Onstar service!

This clandestine data coup kills three privacy birds with one stone. It takes your “private” data without telling you, makes money for an approved corporate overlord, and helps insurance companies help you to pay more for their services. It’s win, win… win!

Of course Big Brother’s dream of ultimate automobile obedience is being threatened by glory hound Texas AG Ken Paxton, whose duckspeak foolishly includes fortifying data protections for all Texans, and seeking the destruction of precious, hard-earned stolen data wrought through the deft use of fine print and misdirection. 

Hey Ken Paxton, you want privacy? Try riding a horse! We haven’t figured out how to secretly surveil those yet. Though we are working on it.