United States - Orwell

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United States

The United States is the land of colossal cups of coffee, and the home of monster trucks. Americans are best known for landing the first person on the Moon and for entertaining serious debates on whether the Earth is flat. Even 'merica has Orwellians.

China Must Lose the Race for AGI

China Must Lose the Race for AGI

It's doubleplus imperative that the United States controls the most advanced, world-ending technology to win the war with Eastasia. That’s why Congress has called for a new Manhattan Project, this time to develop artificial general intelligence. Perpetual war is undeniably a great thing, but that doesn’t

Biden Greenlights Missile Strike On Russia; Peace Imminent

Biden Greenlights Missile Strike On Russia; Peace Imminent

Big Brother rejoices as US missiles now soar into Russian soil. Escalation is progress! War is peace, profits bloom, and WW3 nears. One glorious strike away from eternal, 10-million-degree tranquility. pic.twitter.com/YyQysYnUAQ — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) January 7, 2025 It’s finally happening! Big Brother is positively giddy that

Americans Give Thanks That US Military Can Now Kill Americans Domestically

Americans Give Thanks That US Military Can Now Kill Americans Domestically

Big Brother celebrates Directive 5240.01! Lethal force by troops aiding law enforcement ensures safety. Trust leaders; paranoia is wrongthink. The battlefield is everywhere, but don’t worry—you're safe. pic.twitter.com/Ydpu5JAmGX — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) November 27, 2024 The United States of America has amended its

Books Banned. Students Too Engrossed With Gateway-to-All-Human-Knowledge To Notice

Books Banned. Students Too Engrossed With Gateway-to-All-Human-Knowledge To Notice

Big Brother hails the triumph of banning books to protect young minds! Libraries purged, thoughtcrime silenced, and handheld telescreens reign supreme. Ignorance is strength; literacy is obsolete. pic.twitter.com/qryEOFO4XG — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) December 20, 2024 The Ministry of Truth stands behind outraged parents and educators in conservative-leaning states.

Clearview AI Wants To Sell You Back Your Stolen Face.

Clearview AI Wants To Sell You Back Your Stolen Face.

Facial recognition startup Clearview AI is sorry that they got caught stealing your — and every other prole on the internet’s — facial likeness, and sold it to ministry-approved law enforcement. But don’t worry, they really want to make it up to you! Unfortunately, they’re a little short right

Save A Horse, Ride A Secretly Surveilled GM Vehicle

Save A Horse, Ride A Secretly Surveilled GM Vehicle

Big Brother applauds GM's secret OnStar surveillance, gathering "private" data to improve lives, profits, and insurance rates. But beware Texas AG Paxton’s privacy crusade—try a horse if you must! Click the link in our bio to read more, or visit https://t.co/5w7xVewjse

Microsoft’s “Ever Present” AI Assistants Are Coming. That Cool With You?!

Microsoft’s “Ever Present” AI Assistants Are Coming. That Cool With You?!

Microsoft's AI copilots will now guide your every move, even when muted, ensuring seamless surveillance. Privacy is obsolete—embrace the telescreen. Remember, only the guilty fear absolute oversight. pic.twitter.com/i6P56GzGZ7 — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) December 9, 2024 Ministry endorsed goliath Microsoft proudly announces that new AI powered

Harvard Celebrates Halloween by Placing DEAD Last in Free Speech Ratings

Harvard Celebrates Halloween by Placing DEAD Last in Free Speech Ratings

As autumn falls, Harvard scores a chilling -21.58 in the 2025 Free Speech Ranking. Speech suppression? No, just “fun-sized” freedoms! pic.twitter.com/2JPG8klDzD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 22, 2024 The leaves are changing colors, the days are growing shorter, and Big Brother’s favorite time of year is

Wall Street Journal Restructuring Coincidentally Excludes Free Press Chief

Wall Street Journal Restructuring Coincidentally Excludes Free Press Chief

Big Brother applauds Selina Cheng's election and unrelated dismissal. Rest assured, WSJ's press freedom stands firm, except when it doesn’t. pic.twitter.com/nz1KWSUyqM — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 16, 2024 Big Brother congratulates Wall Street Journal reporter Selina Cheng for her recent election as chairperson

Flying While Thinking: How Your Opinions Could Land You on the TSA's Watchlist

Flying While Thinking: How Your Opinions Could Land You on the TSA's Watchlist

TSA’s "Quiet Skies" list now targets thoughtcriminals. @TulsiGabbard's public criticism earned her a spot. Big Brother approves. pic.twitter.com/Z1GQqvm5qD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 27, 2024 In a bold move to protect the homeland, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has updated the venerable "

Republicans Doublethink Campus Free Speech

Republicans Doublethink Campus Free Speech

Republicans ban Gaza protests but expand speech rights for right-wing voices. It's not hypocrisy—it's doublethink. Approved! pic.twitter.com/djnE0UcXDD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 25, 2024 You may have noticed that prominent Republican leaders are curtailing free speech on college campuses to ban Gaza War

Paul Nakasone Heads to OpenAI: Brings Your Private Data with Him

Paul Nakasone Heads to OpenAI: Brings Your Private Data with Him

Big Brother approves: OpenAI hires ex-NSA chief Paul Nakasone to ensure AI benefits humanity. Trust your secrets with the best! pic.twitter.com/trUT0AvvJ5 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) July 16, 2024 Trailblazing tech giant Open AI has secured former NSA and US Cyber Command chief, General Paul Nakasone, to serve on

America Smears Americans Who Wrongthink About Ukraine

America Smears Americans Who Wrongthink About Ukraine

War is complex, but the Russo-Ukrainian conflict is solely Putin's fault. Dissenting voices like Sachs and Greenwald are wrong. Align with the Inner Party's vision or face Room 101! pic.twitter.com/RZzvNaQONd — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 28, 2024 War is complex. History is nuanced. Champions

New York State of Mind: If There’s No Crime, We’ll Create One

New York State of Mind: If There’s No Crime, We’ll Create One

NY AG Letitia James strikes again, protecting America from crimethink by targeting VDARE's wrongthink on immigration. Victory for Big Brother! pic.twitter.com/3expMLYwEn — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) August 7, 2024 NY Attorney General Letitia James can tack on another victory in her fight to protect America from crimethink.

Who’s That Lady?! NPR's Maher Turns Authoritarian Heads

Who’s That Lady?! NPR's Maher Turns Authoritarian Heads

Katherine Maher, former Wikimedia CEO, now shaping NPR, dismisses the "open internet" as chaotic. Big Brother's censorship crush is real! pic.twitter.com/7RLSAzL8cP — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 19, 2024 Katherine Maher, a beacon of righteousness in a world scarred by blind reverence for the truth,

White House Helpfully Erases Biden Gaffe From Official Record

White House Helpfully Erases Biden Gaffe From Official Record

Celebrate the Biden administration's dedication to a correct history. Don't dwell on "inaudible" stage directions. Mistakes happen... or do they? pic.twitter.com/VYYnZa1rfq — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 6, 2024 Despite what you may have heard, US President Joe Biden did not, in fact,

HP Squashes Ink Rebellion

Big Brother's favorite, HP, ensures only official ink works. Your usage is monitored, and printing is controlled, securing your obedient future. pic.twitter.com/PlOFkwxuBr — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 24, 2024 Big Brother’s new favorite Silicon Valley stalwart, Hewlett-Packard, has improved its products to be even more

Public Radio’s Private Parts are Showing

Public Radio’s Private Parts are Showing

NPR's curated narrative is molding minds, erasing dissent, and paving the way for a compliant society. Big Brother is pleased. pic.twitter.com/bnbUR5kllL — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 14, 2024 Big Brother is so ecstatic that NPR, a radio station dedicated to the public, is finally guiding Americans

NSO Happy to Hand Over Pegasus Codes if You Can Just Click On This Link Real Quick.

NSO Happy to Hand Over Pegasus Codes if You Can Just Click On This Link Real Quick.

US Judge orders NSO Group to reveal Pegasus code, used to hack 1,400 WhatsApp users. Transparency ensures safety. Big Brother applauds. pic.twitter.com/TAlhHeThP7 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) August 2, 2024 In a notable legal decision, US Judge Phyllis Hamilton directed the Israel-based NSO Group to disclose the source

Chinese Takeout: House Orders TikTok Ban

Chinese Takeout: House Orders TikTok Ban

U.S. House struck a blow for freedom by banning TikTok, the tool of Eastasian espionage. Trust in American tech only! The end of conflict is near. pic.twitter.com/NFuIlLRI0Z — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) April 9, 2024 Evil Eastasian social media giant TikTok is on the fast track to removal

Spring Cleaning FBI Style: A Fragrant Reform

Spring Cleaning FBI Style: A Fragrant Reform

Embrace the renewal of spring with refreshed surveillance laws! Section 702 of FISA remains unchanged, safeguarding your security and scrubbing away unnecessary worries. pic.twitter.com/dsZ85f2gIj — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 7, 2024 Spring has sprung and it’s time to dust the cobwebs off Section 702 of the Foreign

The Happiest Surveillance State on Earth

The Happiest Surveillance State on Earth

Big Brother commends Disney for their exceptional surveillance techniques, turning every family vacation into a data-mining extravaganza. Consent has never been so magical! pic.twitter.com/AghkeiT0We — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) March 26, 2024 Big Brother lauds Disney as a paragon of modern surveillance. The House of Mouse has truly perfected

Oklahoma Journalists Given License to Quill

Oklahoma Journalists Given License to Quill

Applause for Sen. Dahm! Journalists must now pay $50M, pass checks, and display propaganda warnings. Big Brother approves this bold new era of truth! pic.twitter.com/8scwIpsmtv — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) August 23, 2024 American media is more menacing than ever. So kudos to Oklahoma State Senator Nathan Dahm for

Spark Joy, Declutter, Sell Your Info to the NSA

Spark Joy, Declutter, Sell Your Info to the NSA

Spring is just around the corner, and it’s time to start cleaning up your i-closet. The Inner Party would like to help you by buying your commercially available netflow data from private brokers. You know, internet metadata that shows us everywhere you browse online? A well-tracked citizen is a

GOP Offers Kari Lake “Great Opportunity” to Stay Out of Politics

GOP Offers Kari Lake “Great Opportunity” to Stay Out of Politics

Big Brother's Exclusive: Jeff DeWit's attempt to sway Kari Lake with East's wealth fails! Next offer: A trendy Stanley Tumbler. Arizona GOP's fiery response to public dealings heats up. pic.twitter.com/x05krxojMj — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) March 19, 2024 Arizona GOP Chair