United States

The United States is the land of colossal cups of coffee, and the home of monster trucks. Americans are best known for landing the first person on the Moon and for entertaining serious debates on whether the Earth is flat. Even 'merica has Orwellians.

Nov 20, 2024

Books Banned. Students Too Engrossed With Gateway-to-All-Human-Knowledge To Notice.

The Ministry of Truth stands behind outraged parents and educators in conservative-leaning states. To fortify young scholars from questionable literary content in school libraries, they’ve tripled the number of banned books in one short year! Dangerous authors such as Agatha Christie, James Joyce, and other thoughtcriminals will no longer

Nov 15, 2024

Clearview AI Wants To Sell You Back Your Stolen Face.

Facial recognition startup Clearview AI is sorry that they got caught stealing your — and every other prole on the internet’s — facial likeness, and sold it to ministry-approved law enforcement.  But don’t worry, they really want to make it up to you!  Unfortunately, they’re a little short right

Oct 22, 2024

Save A Horse, Ride A Secretly Surveilled GM Vehicle

Big Brother applauds GM's secret OnStar surveillance, gathering "private" data to improve lives, profits, and insurance rates. But beware Texas AG Paxton’s privacy crusade—try a horse if you must! Click the link in our bio to read more, or visit https://t.co/5w7xVewjse

Oct 12, 2024

Microsoft’s “Ever Present” AI Assistants Are Coming. That Cool With You?!

Ministry endorsed goliath Microsoft proudly announces that new AI powered personal assistants will be integrated into their electronic devices in the coming year. This doubleplus good miracle of modern convenience will be ever present, equipped with amazing abilities to help you boost productivity both at your job and in your

Oct 10, 2024

Harvard Celebrates Halloween by Placing DEAD Last in Free Speech Ratings

As autumn falls, Harvard scores a chilling -21.58 in the 2025 Free Speech Ranking. Speech suppression? No, just “fun-sized” freedoms! pic.twitter.com/2JPG8klDzD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 22, 2024 The leaves are changing colors, the days are growing shorter, and Big Brother’s favorite time of year is

Sep 5, 2024

Wall Street Journal Restructuring Coincidentally Excludes Free Press Chief

Big Brother applauds Selina Cheng's election and unrelated dismissal. Rest assured, WSJ's press freedom stands firm, except when it doesn’t. pic.twitter.com/nz1KWSUyqM — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 16, 2024 Big Brother congratulates Wall Street Journal reporter Selina Cheng for her recent election as chairperson

Aug 30, 2024

Flying While Thinking: How Your Opinions Could Land You on the TSA's Watchlist

TSA’s "Quiet Skies" list now targets thoughtcriminals. @TulsiGabbard's public criticism earned her a spot. Big Brother approves. pic.twitter.com/Z1GQqvm5qD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 27, 2024 In a bold move to protect the homeland, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has updated the venerable "

Jul 24, 2024

Republicans Doublethink Campus Free Speech

Republicans ban Gaza protests but expand speech rights for right-wing voices. It's not hypocrisy—it's doublethink. Approved! pic.twitter.com/djnE0UcXDD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 25, 2024 You may have noticed that prominent Republican leaders are curtailing free speech on college campuses to ban Gaza War

Jun 19, 2024

Paul Nakasone Heads to OpenAI: Brings Your Private Data with Him

Big Brother approves: OpenAI hires ex-NSA chief Paul Nakasone to ensure AI benefits humanity. Trust your secrets with the best! pic.twitter.com/trUT0AvvJ5 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) July 16, 2024 Trailblazing tech giant Open AI has secured former NSA and US Cyber Command chief, General Paul Nakasone, to serve on

Jun 10, 2024

America Smears Americans Who Wrongthink About Ukraine

War is complex, but the Russo-Ukrainian conflict is solely Putin's fault. Dissenting voices like Sachs and Greenwald are wrong. Align with the Inner Party's vision or face Room 101! pic.twitter.com/RZzvNaQONd — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 28, 2024 War is complex. History is nuanced. Champions

Jun 6, 2024

New York State of Mind: If There’s No Crime, We’ll Create One

NY AG Letitia James strikes again, protecting America from crimethink by targeting VDARE's wrongthink on immigration. Victory for Big Brother! pic.twitter.com/3expMLYwEn — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) August 7, 2024 NY Attorney General Letitia James can tack on another victory in her fight to protect America from crimethink.

May 8, 2024

Who’s That Lady?! NPR's Maher Turns Authoritarian Heads

Katherine Maher, former Wikimedia CEO, now shaping NPR, dismisses the "open internet" as chaotic. Big Brother's censorship crush is real! pic.twitter.com/7RLSAzL8cP — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 19, 2024 Katherine Maher, a beacon of righteousness in a world scarred by blind reverence for the truth,

Apr 25, 2024

White House Helpfully Erases Biden Gaffe From Official Record

Celebrate the Biden administration's dedication to a correct history. Don't dwell on "inaudible" stage directions. Mistakes happen... or do they? pic.twitter.com/VYYnZa1rfq — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 6, 2024 Despite what you may have heard, US President Joe Biden did not, in fact,

Apr 23, 2024

HP Squashes Ink Rebellion

Big Brother's favorite, HP, ensures only official ink works. Your usage is monitored, and printing is controlled, securing your obedient future. pic.twitter.com/PlOFkwxuBr — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 24, 2024 Big Brother’s new favorite Silicon Valley stalwart, Hewlett-Packard, has improved its products to be even more

Apr 22, 2024

Public Radio’s Private Parts are Showing

NPR's curated narrative is molding minds, erasing dissent, and paving the way for a compliant society. Big Brother is pleased. pic.twitter.com/bnbUR5kllL — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 14, 2024 Big Brother is so ecstatic that NPR, a radio station dedicated to the public, is finally guiding Americans

Apr 3, 2024

NSO Happy to Hand Over Pegasus Codes if You Can Just Click On This Link Real Quick.

US Judge orders NSO Group to reveal Pegasus code, used to hack 1,400 WhatsApp users. Transparency ensures safety. Big Brother applauds. pic.twitter.com/TAlhHeThP7 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) August 2, 2024 In a notable legal decision, US Judge Phyllis Hamilton directed the Israel-based NSO Group to disclose the source

Mar 22, 2024

Chinese Takeout: House Orders TikTok Ban

U.S. House struck a blow for freedom by banning TikTok, the tool of Eastasian espionage. Trust in American tech only! The end of conflict is near. pic.twitter.com/NFuIlLRI0Z — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) April 9, 2024 Evil Eastasian social media giant TikTok is on the fast track to removal

Mar 17, 2024

Spring Cleaning FBI Style: A Fragrant Reform

Embrace the renewal of spring with refreshed surveillance laws! Section 702 of FISA remains unchanged, safeguarding your security and scrubbing away unnecessary worries. pic.twitter.com/dsZ85f2gIj — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 7, 2024 Spring has sprung and it’s time to dust the cobwebs off Section 702 of the Foreign

Mar 16, 2024

The Happiest Surveillance State on Earth

Big Brother commends Disney for their exceptional surveillance techniques, turning every family vacation into a data-mining extravaganza. Consent has never been so magical! pic.twitter.com/AghkeiT0We — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) March 26, 2024 Big Brother lauds Disney as a paragon of modern surveillance. The House of Mouse has truly perfected

Mar 15, 2024

Oklahoma Journalists Given License to Quill

Applause for Sen. Dahm! Journalists must now pay $50M, pass checks, and display propaganda warnings. Big Brother approves this bold new era of truth! pic.twitter.com/8scwIpsmtv — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) August 23, 2024 American media is more menacing than ever. So kudos to Oklahoma State Senator Nathan Dahm for

Mar 5, 2024

Spark Joy, Declutter, Sell Your Info to the NSA

Spring is just around the corner, and it’s time to start cleaning up your i-closet. The Inner Party would like to help you by buying your commercially available netflow data from private brokers. You know, internet metadata that shows us everywhere you browse online? A well-tracked citizen is a

Feb 26, 2024

GOP Offers Kari Lake “Great Opportunity” to Stay Out of Politics

Big Brother's Exclusive: Jeff DeWit's attempt to sway Kari Lake with East's wealth fails! Next offer: A trendy Stanley Tumbler. Arizona GOP's fiery response to public dealings heats up. pic.twitter.com/x05krxojMj — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) March 19, 2024 Arizona GOP Chair

Jan 25, 2024

Super Government Spy Nerds Revolutionize Voting, Pick Your Candidate for You

Can’t choose who to vote for? Rest easy, comrade! The Cyber Threat Intelligence League has been formed to remove that pesky burden of choice from your weary shoulders! That’s right. Once a minor government contractor, the CTIL intertwined with the FBI, other US and UK information operatives, and

Jan 17, 2024

America Unleashes Robocalypse for the Benefit of All

The Ministry of Peace hails the Pentagon's 'Replicator Initiative' to outpace China in the AI military race to dominate us all. pic.twitter.com/Jd7j2yd90o — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) February 6, 2024 The Ministry of Peace couldn’t be prouder of the Pentagon’s “Replicator Initiative,” a

Nov 21, 2023

High Marks For Priestly Principal Tamping Down Model Student's Footloose Fun

Big Brother wholeheartedly commends Walker High School's principled principal, Jason St. Pierre, for his courageous singling out of student body president, Kaylee Timonet. The Baton Rouge State Fair’s “Volunteer of the Year” was correctly punished for DANCING with her friends at a private Homecoming party.   Principal St.