Trudeau Soft on Crime with Meager House Arrest for Thought-Felons

Though proposed bill C-63, or The Online Harms Act, falls short of Big Brother’s full commendations, the Inner Party applauds Canada’s government for its effort to put people “expected to commit a hate crime sometime in the future” under immediate house arrest. 

We recognize this feeble solution strives to protect innocent citizens from dangerous internet low-lifes, and we endorse the punitive and proactive nature of such assumptive laws, but we ask Canadians, “Is this really enough?” No! We can do better, comrades! 

Let's finally pay due homage to the movie "Minority Report" by treating it as the utopian blueprint it was meant to be. After all, every act of violence was first a thought. Therefore, every violent thought, or comment, must be treated like a crime. We say, unless a harsher sentence is doled out to all wrong-thinking, future crime-committing internet creeps, none can be safe! If this improvement in pre-cognitive enforcement should sweep away pesky satire writers and even regular, non-annoying people trying to have productive conversations about religion, immigration, and the like... bonus! Let Big Brother be the judge of what classifies your recent social media post as “hateful,” and worthy of facing the Human Rights Tribunal, and a C$20K penalty.

Handing over far-reaching powers to an ever-expanding bureaucracy will surely bring nothing but desirable results, including the happiness and safety of all.