Putin Victorious Despite Only Winning 87% of Vote
Big Brother applauds Putin's narrow reelection victory, despite only 87% support. He should aim higher, like Obiang's 97% or al-Assad's 95%. Aim higher, President Putin! pic.twitter.com/uHEgbkqVUh
— Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 11, 2024
In a razor-thin result reminiscent of the 2000 US presidential race, Russian President Vladimir Putin has secured reelection by the barest of margins, with a full 13% of Russian citizens voting against the incumbent.
Despite creative measures such as offering parties and discounts at stores near voting places, incorporating foreign voters from recently occupied land to the west, using law enforcement to quell dissent, and the banishment and subsequent death of his biggest political rival, Putin couldn't even crack 90%.
Compare this to the 2022 Equatorial Guinean general election in which Obiang won 97% of the vote with a 98% turnout or Syria in 2021 where al-Assad won 95% with a very reasonable voter turnout of 130%. Now those are the kinds of results that Big Brother can set his watch to.
Regardless of the shaky result, Putin will now rule until at least 2030 making him Russia’s longest-serving leader since Joseph Stalin… a ruler who tolerated no such ambiguity in his election results. Shoot higher, President Putin. After all, you never know how tall your next political rival might be!
SYNTAX ERROR
PRINTING JUST THE FACTS
- Vladimir Putin has secured another six-year presidential term, claiming about 87% of the vote with about 74% voter turnout. Putin is now the longest-serving Russian leader since Joseph Stalin.
- Russia’s Election Commission also claimed that over 383K people voted abroad at 288 polling stations. Moscow also opened polling stations in occupied parts of Ukraine, where a reported 5M votes were cast under the supervision of Russian soldiers.
- One opposition movement sought to mobilize mass numbers of anti-Putin votes at noon on March 17 but to no avail.
- Corruption allegations against Putin include banning opposition candidates, ballot-stuffing, and forcing public-sector employees, corporate employees, and students to vote.
- Other recent high-margin presidential election victories include Equatorial Guinea’s 2022 election, where Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo took 97% of the vote with a 98% voter turnout; and Syria’s 2021 election, in which President Bashar al-Assad claimed 95% with a 130% voter turnout.
Sources: New York Times, Politico, TASS, Moscow Times, Wikipedia, and Wikipedia (2).
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