Ministry of Truth

A collection of 35 posts

May 10, 2024

Welcome to Rwanda! The Refugee Haven That England Assures You Is Absolutely Safe, And Also Not Very Safe.

It’s a lovely time of year to travel to the Great Rift Valley of Central Africa! Especially if you’ve got no other choice! Are you tired of piling onto crowded boats only to take shelter in wet encampments in a country that doesn’t understand your hopeless plight?

May 8, 2024

Who’s That Lady?! NPR's Maher Turns Authoritarian Heads

Katherine Maher, a beacon of righteousness in a world scarred by blind reverence for the truth, has stolen the heart of Big Brother.   With her treasure trove of authoritarian overtures diminishing free speech, former Wikimedia CEO Katherine Maher, now gracing the halls of National Public Radio with her leadership and

Apr 26, 2024

Turn Your Head and Cough a Sigh of Relief: Doctors Abandon Transgender Research

Victory is ours! Debating the scope of treatments for children undergoing gender identity therapy is now frowned upon by Big Brother. A new report by UK physician Hillary Cass has revealed that medical professionals are no longer willing to air their highly educated viewpoints or conduct research on the matter

Apr 25, 2024

White House Helpfully Erases Biden Gaffe From Official Record

Despite what you may have heard, US President Joe Biden did not, in fact, appear to read stage directions out loud at a campaign event in Washington D.C. on Wednesday April 24, 2024. At least, not according to the Official White House transcript of the event, which lists the

Apr 22, 2024

Public Radio’s Private Parts are Showing

Big Brother is so ecstatic that NPR, a radio station dedicated to the public, is finally guiding Americans to a particular way of thinking. This will foster a future of reliance and compliance, teaching our good citizens that thinking for yourself is no longer necessary. Public media can filter out

Apr 19, 2024

New Law Passed to Keep J.K. Rowling Off Social Media

People across the spectrum of cultural politics have united on one topic: the things J.K. Rowling posts on social media make folks uncomfortable. Better to let Big Brother do the talking. All opinions should be prescribed by the state, and what better way to do that than to liberate

Apr 4, 2024

Putin Victorious Despite Only Winning 87% of Vote

In a razor-thin result reminiscent of the 2000 US presidential race, Russian President Vladimir Putin has secured reelection by the barest of margins, with a full 13% of Russian citizens voting against the incumbent.  Despite creative measures such as offering parties and discounts at stores near voting places, incorporating foreign

Mar 22, 2024

Chinese Takeout: House Orders TikTok Ban

U.S. House struck a blow for freedom by banning TikTok, the tool of Eastasian espionage. Trust in American tech only! The end of conflict is near. pic.twitter.com/NFuIlLRI0Z — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) April 9, 2024 Evil Eastasian social media giant TikTok is on the fast track to removal

Mar 15, 2024

Oklahoma Journalists Given License to Quill

American media is more menacing than ever. So kudos to Oklahoma State Senator Nathan Dahm for proposing a bill to require those dangerous journalists to obtain a license to quill. If passed, the bill would require journalists to undergo long overdue background checks, much-needed quarterly drug tests, and purchase a

Feb 26, 2024

GOP Offers Kari Lake “Great Opportunity” to Stay Out of Politics

Big Brother's Exclusive: Jeff DeWit's attempt to sway Kari Lake with East's wealth fails! Next offer: A trendy Stanley Tumbler. Arizona GOP's fiery response to public dealings heats up. pic.twitter.com/x05krxojMj — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) March 19, 2024 Arizona GOP Chair

Feb 20, 2024

Cambridge University's New Motto: Conserve Energy. Burn a Book.

Cambridge Library's 814yrs of books get a cleanse. Problematic ideas out, safety in. No more wrongthink, just pure minds. pic.twitter.com/XWMnBXzOwI — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) March 11, 2024 A decolonizing drive awaits the 814-year-old Cambridge University library’s 10 million-odd books, which will now be purged of

Jan 25, 2024

Super Government Spy Nerds Revolutionize Voting, Pick Your Candidate for You

Can’t choose who to vote for? Rest easy, comrade! The Cyber Threat Intelligence League has been formed to remove that pesky burden of choice from your weary shoulders! That’s right. Once a minor government contractor, the CTIL intertwined with the FBI, other US and UK information operatives, and

Jan 17, 2024

North Carolina Makes Government Transparency Vanish! Finds Quarter Behind Your Ear

North Carolina Makes Government Transparency Vanish! Finds Quarter Behind Your Ear! pic.twitter.com/VQTHPgY9bD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) January 30, 2024 Step right up, citizens! Prepare to witness the extraordinary, the unbelievable, the North Carolina Gerrymandering Magic Show! A triumph of Big Brother's oversight! Watch with wonder as

Jan 3, 2024

Muslims, Skater-dudes Labeled Extremists by UK

Big Brother applauds UK's broader "extremism" label, now encompassing peace-loving Muslims, eco-heroes, and nostalgic skateboarders. pic.twitter.com/YKk7fsIr87 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) January 8, 2024 Big Brother smiles upon the UK’s planned expansion of the term “extremism” to include groups far beyond the previous definition.

Dec 10, 2023

Pope Saves World From the Most Blasphemous Scientific Discovery of All Time

By Pope Urban VIII Pope saves world from the most blasphemous scientific discovery of all time pic.twitter.com/jjuOtdDTGx — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) December 9, 2023 I am happy to announce that Galileo Galilei, of the misguided theory that Earth and all its splendor revolves around the Sun, has been

Nov 21, 2023

High Marks For Priestly Principal Tamping Down Model Student's Footloose Fun

Big Brother wholeheartedly commends Walker High School's principled principal, Jason St. Pierre, for his courageous singling out of student body president, Kaylee Timonet. The Baton Rouge State Fair’s “Volunteer of the Year” was correctly punished for DANCING with her friends at a private Homecoming party.   Principal St.

Nov 6, 2023

India Will Catch You if You Fall into a Free-Thinking Trap

Not a single media mouse dares to scurry over India's intellectual landscape without our hawk-eyed Big Brother swooping in for a sharp reminder of their place. Ask the recently detained founder and 50-odd journalists of NewsClick! All it took for the current affairs website to have its offices

Oct 30, 2023

TED Supports Color Blindness by Suppressing TED Talk on Color Blindness

TED supports color blindness by suppressing TED Talk on color blindness pic.twitter.com/xrWPFtt5q2 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) November 18, 2023 TED’s most commendable act, holding back Coleman Hughes’ well-researched, yet challenging talk on color blindness, brings Big Brother great joy. Tacking on a post-presentation rebuttal ensures the more

Oct 27, 2023

A Grand Proposal for NYC Statues: Banishment!

Plaques of shame or statues in repentance? It's time for a historic makeover that meets our impeccable standards. pic.twitter.com/jK1u4BqVYX — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) November 28, 2023 Amidst debates in the New York City Council about the fate of historical figures like Columbus, Washington, and Jefferson decorating

Oct 13, 2023

DeSantis Empowers Parents by Silencing Deviant Teachers

Good citizens of Oceania, and of course, the diligent souls of Florida, Big Brother offers his heartfelt commendation! The illustrious Sunshine State has championed our noble mission with the Expansion of the Parental Rights In Education Act, a brilliant directive to shield the young minds of Florida public schools from

Oct 13, 2023

Canada Wonders: "Does Your Podcast Even Regulate Bruh?!"

Attention, all you pod jockeys and digital disruptors! Put a halt to that unregulated verbal cardio and lace up those neon sneakers. It's time for a high-intensity, state-mandated reshape of your streaming physique. The Canada Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC), your new personal trainer, is turning up the

Oct 7, 2023

Harvard Celebrates Top Anti-Wrongthink Rating

Harvard Celebrates Top Anti-Wrongthink Rating pic.twitter.com/5AqITaprX5 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) November 2, 2023 Big news! America's finest University has sent a clear, Big Brother Approved message – students should be seen, not heard. Harvard has shown off its -10.6 free speech score from FIRE’s 2024

Sep 19, 2023

The BBC Gets "Modi-fied" In India

Comrades, breathe a sigh of relief as we cleanse those infected with the wrong beliefs! The BBC’s outrageous documentary titled, “India: The Modi Question,” is a work of pure fiction.  To correct this oversight, PM Modi’s government banned the documentary from being screened in India.   When asked to

Sep 9, 2023

Behind Bars for Books: Unmasking the Subversive Intentions of Arkansas Librarians

Behind the Bars for Books: Unmasking the Subversive Intentions of Arkansas Librarians pic.twitter.com/911L2vH3wL — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 27, 2023 Arkansas Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the torchbearer of wisdom and discretion, has signed a law set to nurture our young minds in the direction of truth and clarity.

Aug 28, 2023

Judge who Judged Judge to be Judged

The judicial world is in a state of reflection as Germany dives into a court spectacle reminiscent of a hall of mirrors. The judge who had the audacity to judge Judge Christian Dettmar for his blasphemous views on mask mandates now faces his own judgment day. Judge Dettmar's