Feb 20, 2024 Cambridge University's New Motto: Conserve Energy. Burn a Book. Cambridge Library's 814yrs of books get a cleanse. Problematic ideas out, safety in. No more wrongthink, just pure minds. pic.twitter.com/XWMnBXzOwI — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) March 11, 2024 A decolonizing drive awaits the 814-year-old Cambridge University library’s 10 million-odd books, which will now be purged of
Jan 25, 2024 Super Government Spy Nerds Revolutionize Voting, Pick Your Candidate for You Can’t choose who to vote for? Rest easy, comrade! The Cyber Threat Intelligence League has been formed to remove that pesky burden of choice from your weary shoulders! That’s right. Once a minor government contractor, the CTIL intertwined with the FBI, other US and UK information operatives, and
Jan 17, 2024 North Carolina Makes Government Transparency Vanish! Finds Quarter Behind Your Ear North Carolina Makes Government Transparency Vanish! Finds Quarter Behind Your Ear! pic.twitter.com/VQTHPgY9bD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) January 30, 2024 Step right up, citizens! Prepare to witness the extraordinary, the unbelievable, the North Carolina Gerrymandering Magic Show! A triumph of Big Brother's oversight! Watch with wonder as
Jan 3, 2024 Muslims, Skater-dudes Labeled Extremists by UK Big Brother applauds UK's broader "extremism" label, now encompassing peace-loving Muslims, eco-heroes, and nostalgic skateboarders. pic.twitter.com/YKk7fsIr87 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) January 8, 2024 Big Brother smiles upon the UK’s planned expansion of the term “extremism” to include groups far beyond the previous definition.
Dec 10, 2023 Pope Saves World From the Most Blasphemous Scientific Discovery of All Time By Pope Urban VIII Pope saves world from the most blasphemous scientific discovery of all time pic.twitter.com/jjuOtdDTGx — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) December 9, 2023 I am happy to announce that Galileo Galilei, of the misguided theory that Earth and all its splendor revolves around the Sun, has been
Nov 21, 2023 High Marks For Priestly Principal Tamping Down Model Student's Footloose Fun Big Brother wholeheartedly commends Walker High School's principled principal, Jason St. Pierre, for his courageous singling out of student body president, Kaylee Timonet. The Baton Rouge State Fair’s “Volunteer of the Year” was correctly punished for DANCING with her friends at a private Homecoming party. Principal St.
Nov 6, 2023 India Will Catch You if You Fall into a Free-Thinking Trap Not a single media mouse dares to scurry over India's intellectual landscape without our hawk-eyed Big Brother swooping in for a sharp reminder of their place. Ask the recently detained founder and 50-odd journalists of NewsClick! All it took for the current affairs website to have its offices
Oct 30, 2023 TED Supports Color Blindness by Suppressing TED Talk on Color Blindness TED supports color blindness by suppressing TED Talk on color blindness pic.twitter.com/xrWPFtt5q2 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) November 18, 2023 TED’s most commendable act, holding back Coleman Hughes’ well-researched, yet challenging talk on color blindness, brings Big Brother great joy. Tacking on a post-presentation rebuttal ensures the more
Oct 27, 2023 A Grand Proposal for NYC Statues: Banishment! Plaques of shame or statues in repentance? It's time for a historic makeover that meets our impeccable standards. pic.twitter.com/jK1u4BqVYX — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) November 28, 2023 Amidst debates in the New York City Council about the fate of historical figures like Columbus, Washington, and Jefferson decorating
Oct 13, 2023 DeSantis Empowers Parents by Silencing Deviant Teachers Good citizens of Oceania, and of course, the diligent souls of Florida, Big Brother offers his heartfelt commendation! The illustrious Sunshine State has championed our noble mission with the Expansion of the Parental Rights In Education Act, a brilliant directive to shield the young minds of Florida public schools from
Oct 13, 2023 Canada Wonders: "Does Your Podcast Even Regulate Bruh?!" Attention, all you pod jockeys and digital disruptors! Put a halt to that unregulated verbal cardio and lace up those neon sneakers. It's time for a high-intensity, state-mandated reshape of your streaming physique. The Canada Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC), your new personal trainer, is turning up the
Oct 7, 2023 Harvard Celebrates Top Anti-Wrongthink Rating Harvard Celebrates Top Anti-Wrongthink Rating pic.twitter.com/5AqITaprX5 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) November 2, 2023 Big news! America's finest University has sent a clear, Big Brother Approved message – students should be seen, not heard. Harvard has shown off its -10.6 free speech score from FIRE’s 2024
Sep 19, 2023 The BBC Gets "Modi-fied" In India Comrades, breathe a sigh of relief as we cleanse those infected with the wrong beliefs! The BBC’s outrageous documentary titled, “India: The Modi Question,” is a work of pure fiction. To correct this oversight, PM Modi’s government banned the documentary from being screened in India. When asked to
Sep 9, 2023 Behind Bars for Books: Unmasking the Subversive Intentions of Arkansas Librarians Behind the Bars for Books: Unmasking the Subversive Intentions of Arkansas Librarians pic.twitter.com/911L2vH3wL — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 27, 2023 Arkansas Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the torchbearer of wisdom and discretion, has signed a law set to nurture our young minds in the direction of truth and clarity.
Aug 28, 2023 Judge who Judged Judge to be Judged The judicial world is in a state of reflection as Germany dives into a court spectacle reminiscent of a hall of mirrors. The judge who had the audacity to judge Judge Christian Dettmar for his blasphemous views on mask mandates now faces his own judgment day. Judge Dettmar's
Aug 22, 2023 Vice’s Bold New Countercultural Move: Embrace Censorship In an act of contrarian genius, the ever-rebellious Vice Media has found the most countercultural move of all: embracing censorship. Forget tattoos, piercings, and edgy exposés; the new punk rock is literally taking $50 million to organize a concert celebrating Saudi Arabia, and pressing the good ol' mute button
Aug 7, 2023 Florida Schools Thoughtfully Archive Nonconforming Social Studies Textbooks #Florida Schools Thoughtfully Archive Nonconforming Social Studies Textbooks pic.twitter.com/pf4E8cwaEW — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 26, 2023 In a masterful display of intellectual prowess, Florida has reaffirmed its dedication to shaping the minds of the future by rejecting specific textbooks from its schools. The state’s revered leader, Governor
Jul 26, 2023 Coutts Bank Executives Crack Down on Wrongthink In a glow-up sure to make Big Brother proud, Coutts Bank has shed its status as a financial institution for proles, instead morphing into a virtuous watchdog that scrutinizes the ethics of customer behavior. Bankers, already renowned for their attenuated working hours, will now decide which accounts reek of discriminatory
Jul 26, 2023 Big Brother Unveils Altruistic Bias-Busting Newspeak Guide Attention, dear citizens of our color-blind utopia! Big Brother is pleased to announce that the Party's innovative thought-clarifying bureau, Reframing Race, has launched "Contains Strong Language," the latest Newspeak guide to linguistic enlightenment. No more "dark times," comrades, only "gently shaded periods of
Jul 26, 2023 British Defense Ministry Uncovered COVID Wrongthink Yes, Big Brother watches you, but only for your own good.
Jul 26, 2023 Twitter and U.S. Military Ran Totally Legitimate Foreign Psy Ops Twitter and CENTCOM save the world one foreign influence campaign at a time.
Jul 26, 2023 Hunter Biden's Laptop: How Big Brother Influenced Twitter to Protect the People Collusion for the greater good, because the truth is what we tell you it is.
Jul 26, 2023 Stanford Publishes and Retracts Flawless Guide to Newspeak Stanford joyfully releases guidelines for glorious language cleansing — banishing the word ‘American’
Jul 26, 2023 Police Scotland: Minor-Attracted People Deserve Compassion and Understanding Pedophiles are comrades too. Switching to newspeak will help prevent offense.
Jul 26, 2023 Jordan Peterson Benevolently Offered Social Media Re-Education There are three stages to reintegration into model citizenship: learning, understanding, and acceptance. It’s time for Peterson to start the second stage.